If you have, I’m happy to say yes. Yes, I can.

The two headphones described below are about as much as I can imagine spending on what are basically little speakers that you strap to your head. So this article isn’t so much a review as a freakshow; check out the guy with the weird obsession and the lack of self-restraint!

Denon AH-D5000

These are the big brother to the D2000s that I mentioned in my last article. Thanks to an uncharacteristically well-timed purchase, I managed to get these for US$425 from Amazon. They went up massively after I bought them, and I see they are now back around that price, but the AUD has dropped significantly.

US$450-odd is a lot of cash for headphones, and I’ll be the first to acknowledge that fact. What’s more, the D2000s are almost US$200 cheaper, and the difference is incredibly difficult to justify in objective terms. As I said before, the D2000s are already a fantastic headphone. Supremely comfortable and capable headphones that are easy to drive. Really, there’s no rational reason to upgrade them.

However, upgrading to the D5000s is not a decision I regret in the slightest. To my ears the D2000s suffer from very mild boominess in the bass department which is tamed nicely by the Real Mahogany Cups of the D5000s. Or maybe it’s some other bit of audiophile wankery.

I like music, and I especially like to hear it with as much clarity, impact and presence as possible. There’s nothing better on a Friday night than to kick back with some favourite tunes, some quality headphones and a glass or two of red wine. The D5000s are frankly perfect for this job. I’m pretty sure that without going for the insane Senheisser HD800s (at a wallet-busting AUD2400!) you’re really not going to do any better.

Ultimate Ears Triple-Fi 10vi

You can’t sit around all the time drinking wine and listening to ridiculous headphones. Oh no, not by a long shot. Sometimes you’ve got to get out on the street. And listen to ridiculous headphones.

Behold the Ultimate Ears Triple-Fi 10vi IEMs. You stick them in your ear and instead of hearing the sounds of nature, children’s laughter, oncoming semi-trailers, and so forth, you hear … whatever you want to hear. It’s amazing.

As I alluded to last time, the big selling point about the IEM is that it blocks sound from outside. This means you don’t need noise-cancelling and all that nonsense. It also means you don’t need to destroy your hearing trying to drown out the noises around you. In summary, good IEMs are basically earplugs with speakers in them.

Last time around I didn’t have a choice for an IEM. I tried the little brother to these, the Super-Fi 4vi. Prettymuch the only claim to fame for those was the fact that they would fit into the original iPhone headphone jack. But they sounded awful, so I ditched them.

Later, in a moment of bonus-fuelled excitement, I clicked a button and was A$640 the poorer. But when the Triple-Fis arrived, I was so much the richer. After some time trying out the different tips and getting used to different insertion techniques (yeah, I know, that’s what she said) they sound absolutely amazing. Better than most full-size headphones out there, in fact.

Once you’ve got the secret of getting the “seal” just right, they are quite comfortable, and the sound is incredible. It’s obviously more in-the-head than the Denons but the frequency response is amazing. From the deepest bass to the crispest treble notes, all emanating from these tiny little speakers stuck in your ear canals.

Had a bad day? Seriously, get yourself a pair of these and a portable music player, then go out into the evening and walk the streets. Great way to clear the head.

But look both ways before crossing the road, because you won’t hear that bus otherwise.

The story was about a satellite that was crashing to earth. It was almost certainly Salyut 7, which came down in 1991. The memory of Skylab, which crashed in Australia in 1977, was still present in people’s minds. As always, the media was anxious for a local angle, and the possibility of a Skylab re-run, with an added dash of panic-mongering, was too tempting for them to resist.

Media Watch tracked the published predictions of the crash site as the re-entry date approached.

A few weeks out, some media outlets reckoned that that the satellite would fall somewhere in the Indian Ocean, Australia, or the Pacific.

A week out, the predictions narrowed to mainland Australia.

Days away, and it looks more like Western Australia. Towns such as Kalgoorlie are becoming extremely worried at this point. Rumours abound of satellite crash insurance being sold to worried locals.

On February 7 1991, Salyut 7 crashed to earth.

In South America.

Littlemore delivered the punchline, declaring the reporting as “a lesson on the difference between precision and accuracy.”

It’s a pretty safe bet that if you see a semi-regular blogger (still not quite ready to label myself like that, but anyway) suddenly go quiet, then they have either had a baby or a new job. And so it is with great pleasure that I can announce that I am the proud parent of … a 5- and a 7-year-old, and also I have a new job!

I like it so far, there’s a lot of c++ coding about which I intend to blog copiously until every last remnant of a regular audience has fled for their lives. Whilst simultaneously, and endlessly, reciting the latest internet meme to jump the shark (eg “FAIL!”). Oh yes.

But not to worry because I promise not to drive you all away just yet – not until I have at returned from a 2 week northern hemisphere (just) vacation. Tomorrow, the family and I are on the next plane out of Sydney, and after seven flying hours we’ll be landing in Phuket. More interestingly we’re also venturing inland to a rather remote part of the country, staying in a villa about which you can read on their excellent website. In short, I’m very much looking forward to it.

Naturally I have some reading matter and some new toys to sustain me for the flight, and I will make a vague, non-committal promise to blog about one of these on my return.

Keep the internet warm for me while I’m gone, won’t you?

Exhibit A: Apple, 24 years ago

Exhibit B: Microsoft, today

Yeah, I know, who cares about packaging? But howcome so few companies get it right?

And in the long run, I think it is important. The message you send with the packaging of your product is one of the care you have put in to producing it. And of the importance of the customer’s time in getting up and running quickly.

Message received, Apple.

The elevator pitch: music insurance. Insurance against hearing music that you hate.

Here’s how it works.

Let’s say you wake up one day with a revelation. “I would,” you think to yourself, “pay good money to never have to hear Meat Loaf’s Paradise By The Dashboard Light ever again. I would pay until the end of time, should it hurry up and arrive.” Or words to that effect.

Pick whatever example you want here: maybe the Crazy Frog song might be your choice instead? Or Whitney Houston’s I Will Always Love You? I-I-I-I-I-I-eee-I-I-eee-I-I don’t wont to go on, I’m sure everyone has at least one song that is disliked to the point of justifying financial outlay. (For me it would be the majority of the AOR canon, which could get expensive, but I’m getting ahead of myself.)

So you take out insurance against accidentally hearing this song, whatever it might be. Like most insurance policies you pay a premium, and when you hear one of the covered songs, you make a claim and receive some financial compensation to ease the pain. All you have to do is prove that the music was broadcasted publicly and you couldn’t escape it. This guards against fraudulent claims, and is where technology comes in.

We need to make two simplifying assumptions. Firstly we require the music to be broadcast by a radio station or similar public broadcaster, who are motivated to watermark their broadcasts in the interest of asserting their license to do so. This precludes the private playing of insured music; in other words, you’re not allowed to play Celine Dion CDs to yourself and claim on them.

Secondly we require the insured to be in a public place, or specifically nominated private places, for the claim to be valid. This might be at work, at a pub, restaurant, or wherever you have no control over what radio station is played. This precludes you claiming against family members who play music too loud, but I’m sorry no insurer is going to go anywhere near that sort of dispute.

When you sign up for the policy you will download a small application to install on your mobile phone. When you hear an offensive song, you whip out your phone and start the application. This records a sample of the music, the date and time, and the place (either manually entered or from the GPS receiver). This information is transmitted (via internet, SMS, or whatever) to the insurer’s servers. These servers will automatically extract the music sample, match it against the sender’s insured songs, verify its authenticity using the watermark and location data. The watermark is verified against a known list of broadcasters, and the location data against a set of covered locations. If after this, the claim is determined to be valid, the insured amount would be paid.

Of course there is still a potential for fraudulent claims, but — without meaning to oversimplify the actuarial art — this can be countered by conventional risk management techniques. Claiming against Achy Breaky Heart when you’re at a Billy Ray Cyrus concert is obviously fraudulent, for example. And as with all insurance policies, the premiums and claim amounts can be adjusted in relation to specific risk factors, including the potential for fraud in a given situation. I am not an actuary, but feel free to chime in if you are (or can impersonate one on the internet).

Now I know it’s a great idea, but if you make millions from selling musical insurance policies, I don’t even want a cut. I just want you to cover me. Come on in and cover me.

Data, General, Misc, $COMPANYNAME, Stuff, Docs, Team, $X-Drive

If you find yourself using any of these vague and overly-generic terms, you really should re-think your taxonomy.

(This post requested by Scott, who I’m sure would never be responsible for using any of these…)

Dan likes to make the analogy with motorcycles. They perform better than cars, but at a fraction of the price. This is true also of headphones versus a full-blown home Hi-Fi system. However, unlike motorcycles, headphones are more practical than their full-priced competitors. You can even carry them around!

The only thing you really lose with the headphone experience is that whole-body listening sensation. You don’t get to feel that thump in your chest on really deep bass hits. Instead it’s all in your head. Which is by no means unpleasant, just slightly different to a live performance or even a good Hi-Fi system.

In case it’s not painfully obvious, this post is about headphones. It contains some recommendations and advice about specific types and models, but mainly the message I want to get across is that headphones are an inexpensive and invaluable conduit to musical satisfaction. For a few hundred measly bucks you can experience something close to musical perfection. Without even bothering the neighbours. (Although you can do that too, just by singing along…)

Yuin PK3

Let’s start the tour at with the least expensive. These babies are a measly A$39 shipped from m’verygoodfriends at headphonic. Put bluntly, these are probably the best value of any headphone I own.

If you have an iPod, you’re probably listening with the iBuds that came with it, thinking they’re not too bad. And you’re right, they are OK. The second gen iBuds (with the rubber sides) are fine for spoken word and are quite comfortable, and don’t sound too bad if you manage to place them correctly in your ear. However in comparison to the Yuins they sound like … well, like crap really.

Take my word for it, the Yuins are well worth the measly upgrade. You dropped a few hundred on the iPod, what about another $39 for some decent headphones?

If you’ve tried earbuds before and have beed disappointed, I sympathise. I was initially reluctant myself. Unlike most earbuds I have ever tried, these seem to sit really nicely in my ears and don’t need fiddling with in order to get a decent seal (and hence provide very decent bass response).

Gripes? Umm, well the foam covers fall off pretty easily. Also the cables are slightly heavier than the iBuds, and hence snag on clothing more easily. Otherwise great.

These are my default carry-around headphones. The earbud form factor is light, portable, and easy to take on and off.

Just get ‘em.

Koss KSC-35

These are my exercise headphones. They have individual clips which take a few seconds and a bit of practice to put on, but tend to stay put a lot better when jumping up and down (or when bent double and breathless).

These are “open” headphones which means they leak sound to the outside. This may be bad in some situations. But on the upside they also sound a lot more open, meaning that the sound is less in-your-head. I believe headphone nuts refer to this characteristic as the “soundstage” but I wouldn’t stoop to such audiowanker terms. Oh, OK maybe I would.

In general the sound is probably not as good as the Yuins but there’s not a lot in it. The bass response in particular is really strong but a bit muddier than I would like. By this I mean they start to sound a bit farty and boomy, particularly when the music has complicated passages of bass notes. For the money though they’re great.

Koss don’t make the KSC-35s any more, but have since replaced them with the KSC-75s, which probably sound better. The newer models are, I understand, a lot sturdier and more attractive than the flimsy black plastic KSC-35s. Still very reasonably priced too: A$64 shipped from headphonic (no I am not getting any commission, though I am a satisfied customer).

Sennheiser HD-555

Another open headphone, this time a full-size pair. These are my work headphones. They are supra-aural, which means they sound like a Toyota you can wear them all day in comfort because they sit over your ears, not on them.

The sound is great too. A well “balanced” sound that doesn’t seem to emphasise or hide any particular frequency range. Otherwise they are not a huge step up in sound quality from the Yuins or the Kossen.

The main advantage of the 555s is that they are comfortable and very suitable for extended listening. Also they are open, so they let in the sound of coworkers trying to get your attention (or talking about you in the next cubicle). This may be a downside though if you’re trying to drown out their noise…

A$180 shipped, a good buy. See also Dan’s opinion.

Audio Technica ATH-A900

Now we’re starting to get into the serious listening. These are a big step up in sound quality compared to all of the above.

These are closed headphones which provide pretty good isolation. They are also very comfy, with this crazy but effective “wing” system to keep them in place.

The difference in sound quality over the HD-555s is quite noticable. There is more detail all over, more precise and deep bass, more betterer treble. Or something. They’re very very good.

For a long time these were my quality-listening at-home headphones. Get a glass of wine and kick back with the iTunes library on shuffle. A great way to spend a Friday night after a long week.

A$299 shipped. Well and truly worth the money in my opinion, although I am selling mine to upgrade to the Denons mentioned below, so contact me if you’re interested?

Meier Corda Move amplifier

Yes, an amplifier. What’s that you say? Speak up…. No! I’m not going deaf!

Here’s the deal. By the time you get to spend a few hundred bucks on headphones, they will likely stop being the weakest link in your audio equipment. Instead it is almost certainly the crappy amp in your source. iPods actually have pretty good D/A converters (from what I am told anyway), but space and possibly electrical limitations prevent them from using very capable amplifiers. Headphone outputs on other devices are almost certainly afterthoughts, and so in most cases you probably want an external amplifier.

There is another possible use case for the headphone amplifier, and that is for use with high impedance headphones. Such beasts do exist, typically at the high-end, and are typically inaudible without an amplifier. None of the headphones on this page strictly require an amplifier though; they are all low impedance.

Behold the Meier Corda Move amplifier. Besides being an amplifer, it’s also a USB audio device, which means that you can plug it into your laptop and not have to deal with its (probably) crappy D/A converters or amplifier. To top it all off the Move also a crossfeed filter, about which I will let Dan explain.

I was a bit sceptical about how well this unit would perform. Like I said, the iPod output isn’t too bad, and neither is that from my PowerBook. But whoah. Was I amazed when plugging this thing in. So much detail, so much bass, so much … presence. Just invites you to crank it up.

You know you have made a big step up in sound reproduction when you find yourself continually increasing the rating of everything in your iTunes library. All of your music just sounds better. The borderline three stars become fours and so on. Remember that I am very stingy with iTunes ratings, but this amplifier is rapidly curing that!

Once you have a good set of headphones, an amplifier is a great way to make them sound even better. Highly recommended. I paid US$235 directly from the source but also available from headphonic for a very reasonable A$299.

Denon AH-D2000

While the Move is the flavour of the month amplifier on the head-fi forums, the Denons are definitely flavour of the month headphones. My pair arrived the other day courtesy of audiocubes for a reasonable US$285, now going for an even more reasonable US$259 (dammit!), or available locally for a much less reasonable A$799 retail.

Without a doubt we are starting to approach the point of diminshing returns, but they still manage to greatly improve upon the A900s. Particularly when coupled with the Move amplifier, these sound just fantastic. So good that I want to instantly re-rate all my music with 5, no fuck it, 6 stars! OK, not really. Seriously, it’s a lot of fun listening through these things. Old favourites in particular sound new again, because you hear new details that were previously hidden or at least subdued. I want to use the term “presence” again too, because it’s a good one. Presence, presence, presence. Presents for your ears.

As for comfort, well these are the most comfortable headphones I have ever worn. It barely even feels like they’re on.

There’s a downside though. They fall apart. According to the forums it’s quite common. The left ear cup dropped off mine after about 5 days. Fortunately I found the screw and was able to re-assemble them without too much hassle. Still, not a great experience.

Missing: IEM

This collection of ‘phones covers most situations for which headphones are appropriate. Notably absent from this list is a headphone to handle the unique environment of the long-distance flight. If I did any regular long-distance flying (or other public transport for that matter) I would be picking up a pair of In-Ear Monitors (IEMs to the headphiles).

In the past I had used noise-cancelling headphones and I cannot recommend them lowly enough. These things are bad. The ones I had were Sonys, and quite expensive I believe at the time. But they sound atrocious. Even the noise-cancelling effect isn’t that great.

The last time I flew any distance I used a pair of really cheap IEMs (also Sony) and they were so much better than the noise-cancelling monsters. I honestly can’t remember the model, and they were certainly nothing special, sound-wise. Next time I travel I’ll certainly pick up a new pair of IEMs. I’ve heard good things about the Westone UM1’s and they will suffice as my recommendation for now, although I will be looking carefully at the equivalents from Shure, Ultimate Ears and Etymotic when it is time to buy.

What next?

Well of course it would be misleading of me to suggest that after dropping a grand or so I had reached headphone nirvana. But at this point I’d have to think long and hard about going for the next level up. I suspect also that the limiting factor in sound quality with my music collection right now may be in the lossy compression scheme, given that most of my library is encoded with AAC at 128kbps. But I have a plan for dealing with that, more later.

I propose that one of these sports be selected and standardised by, I dunno, ISO or someone as the sport entitled to be called football. The rest of them will have to change their names.

The criteria by which sports shall be judged are: a) whether the foot contacts the ball with any kind of regularity during the normal course of the game, and b) how widespread the game is played around the world.

Let’s look at the candidates shall we?

First off there’s soccer. Played by just about every nation in the world. The foot contacts the ball often, the rest of the body rarely. It’s a pretty strong candidate, you have to admit.

There’s American football, a.k.a. Gridiron. Wikipedia tells me there is a Canadian Football as well, and as you can see from about 5 seconds at glancing at the pictures in the comparison article, you can see that Canadian football is played in three dimensions, whereas American football is only played in two. But in neither of these games do feet actually contact ball in any significant way. And only played in two countries, oh dear.

Of course, there’s Australian rules football which, as you know, I am a bit of a fan of. Played in parts of one country, but at least boot hits ball fairly often. They have a strange hand-ball rule too but that shouldn’t rule out a claim to being called “football”. Still, not a strong candidate.

What else? Rugby league. This is the other Australian football, besides Australian rules. Or the other other Australian football if you count soccer (which as you may have gleaned already, I do). Anyway it’s played in England, Australia, NZ and France by those too dumb to get into a Rugby Union team. Oops, did I say that last bit out loud? Not widespread, and very little foot-ball contact unless you count their silly play-the-ball move, which I dont.

I don’t really think anyone still calls rugby union “football” but I suppose there must be some. Ironically the ball is kicked a lot more in union than in league, so if either of these is to be called football, it should be rugby union. Not as widespread as soccer, but then again what is? 20 nations competing at the world cup though, not too bad.

Gaelic football. It is the Irish version of Australian rules football. And its claim to being called football is just as weak.

So there you have it. And the winner is …

Soccer, obviously.

The ISO should now deprecate the term “soccer” as it is obviously redundant.

I will now listen to your proposals for new names for each of the other codes.

You can see that the circular logo of Questacon is still present, but each of the segments has been reversed.

Frankly, I’m at a bit of a loss to explain it. Well, I can imagine stretching the diameter of the first ring so that it can slide over the outside of the body of the slinky, and then repeating the process so that the entire slinky is turned back on itself. But that would be extremely difficult, and anyway that’s not what I did!

What happened was the slinky mysteriously got itself into a tangle (a 6-year-old may or may not have been involved). I tried to untangle it, fruitlessly, and then noticed that the slinky had been turned inside out in the process. I then cut off the tangled part — which is why the picture contains only part of a logo — and took the photo.

Anyone else care to have a shot at explaining it?

In the new Web 2.0 economy it may be customary to advertise your competitors products but it still strikes me as weird.

So why are they doing this? My first guess was that the Yahoo audience is predominantly IE and are more likely to upgrade to a new version of IE than switch to Firefox or Opera. Yahoo presumably want people to get more modern browsers and they figure this is the path of least resistance.

I wondered how IE7 could be “Optimised for Yahoo!7″? Because they’ve both got a 7 in their name, perhaps?

But then it struck me: they want people to keep the Yahoo home page. By promoting the IE download they get people to upgrade to a Yahoo-branded copy of IE; with the home page and default search engine set to Yahoo.

All this before IE is pushed out automatically by Windows Update. Clever.